In today's fast-paced world, women continue to face unique challenges and societal expectations that can often leave them feeling overwhelmed. This blog post explores some key factors contributing to this sense of overwhelm, including the mental load, the distribution of household chores, and their impact on women's ability to achieve their personal and professional goals. We will draw upon insights from modern authors and speakers to shed light on this pressing issue.

Mental Load

The term "mental load" refers to the invisible, cognitive burden that many women carry. We like to rethink that burden as "the ACORNS." It encompasses the mental work of managing a household, remembering important dates and tasks, coordinating family schedules, and anticipating the needs of everyone in the family. The mental load often goes unnoticed and unappreciated, but it can be incredibly taxing on women.

In her book "Fed Up: Emotional Labor, Women, and the Way Forward," modern author Gemma Hartley has brought attention to the mental load and its toll on women. She argues that society expects women to be the "emotional caretakers" of their families, leading to feelings of exhaustion and overwhelm.

Household Chore Distribution

Household chores have traditionally been associated with women's responsibilities. While progress has been made in recent years, there remains a significant disparity in the distribution of household tasks. Research conducted by authors like Eve Rodsky, in her book "Fair Play: A Game-Changing Solution for When You Have Too Much to Do (and More Life to Live)," highlights the persistent gender gap in household chore distribution.

The unequal division of labour at home not only adds to women's workload but also limits their time and energy for personal development and career advancement. This imbalance can contribute to a sense of underachievement in other areas of life.

The Squirrelly Feeling

Feeling "squirrelly" is a term used by many women to describe the constant state of distraction and restlessness that stems from trying to juggle multiple responsibilities and expectations. Modern life often demands that women simultaneously balance career, family, social obligations, and personal aspirations.

Tiffany Dufu, author of "Drop the Ball: Achieving More by Doing Less," discusses how the relentless pursuit of perfection and trying to meet unrealistic standards can lead women to feel "squirrelly." This feeling of being pulled in all directions can hinder personal development and goal achievement.

Angela Vandersluis, the author of the 18ACORNS BUJO and Productivity System for the Overwhelmed, surmises that women may be squirrelly only after years of accommodating and carrying the weight of all of those "acorns."  She even referred to her business as SQRL Friday (playing on the old reference "Girl Friday" or the Assistant to the CEO).  In an interview, she explained that women have been given, and subconciously accepted, society's rule that it is a woman's job to collect all of the proverbial "acorns" to manage them then and plant them to greatest impact for the greatest numbers. She continued, "It could just be a matter of accepting this reality after years of fighting against it." Either way, being responsible for all of the acorns is a reasonably significant burden for just one person in any household. 

The Impact on Personal Development and Goals

The overwhelming burden placed on women by societal expectations can have a detrimental impact on their personal development and goals. When women are constantly bogged down by the mental load and the demands of household chores, they may find it challenging to prioritize their own ambitions, dreams, and self-care.

In her TED Talk, "The Power of Vulnerability," Brené Brown emphasizes the importance of embracing vulnerability and setting boundaries to prevent burnout. This is particularly relevant to women who often feel compelled to take on more than they can handle.

Solutions:

1. Equalizing Household Responsibilities: Let's start with fairness at home. Couples should have open conversations about who does what around the house. Making a chore chart or using handy apps can help ensure everyone chips in equally. In the case that you are a single parent, the solo-aspect of household responsibilities can be almost more bearable given the fact that you can understand why you are doing the house stuff alone. 

2. Setting Boundaries: It's crucial to put your foot down when necessary. Say no when you need to, and don't feel guilty about it. Setting clear limits on your commitments can help you focus on your goals without constantly feeling pulled in a million directions.

3. Seeking Support: Don't hesitate to ask for help from your partner, friends, or family. Delegating tasks and reaching out for support when you're feeling overwhelmed can really lighten the load.

4. Journaling as a Solution: Now, let's talk about journaling. It's like having a secret weapon to help you manage the chaos. You can use it to:

• Vent and get your thoughts and feelings out of your head.
• Set and track your personal goals and dreams.
• Figure out what's stressing you out and brainstorm ways to handle it.
• Celebrate your wins, no matter how small, to boost your confidence.
• Make sure you're taking care of yourself and track your progress.
• See the 18ACORNS BUJO and Productivity System to find journaling solutions for your overwhelm.

Conclusion

Women today face many societal pressures that can lead to overwhelming feelings, a sense of underachievement, and an inability to pursue personal and professional goals fully. The mental load, unequal distribution of household chores, and the ever-present "squirrelly" feeling contribute to this phenomenon.

Society needs to recognize and address these challenges and for women to prioritize self-care, set boundaries, and seek support. Modern authors and speakers like Gemma Hartley, Eve Rodsky, Tiffany Dufu, and Brené Brown offer valuable insights into navigating these issues and finding a healthier, more balanced approach to life. We can work toward a more equitable and fulfilling future for all by acknowledging and addressing the overwhelming burden placed on women.

In the meantime, support is most likely found within circles of women or SQRLs... who understand and support one another and all of the weight of those proverbial acorns.